April 7th 2017
Change has always been something that freaks me out. I know that “change is good” and that “changing is the only way we grow” and blah blah blah…but why is change so unsettling?
I think it is because I am incredibly sentimental, that change makes me feel so uncomfortable. I become so in love with memories that the idea of anything changing that could make me feel more distant from my memories scares me. The idea that I am going to move one day and that my parents will sell the house I grew up in makes my skin crawl. I can’t handle the idea that one day someone else will come into my room and paint the walls and put furniture in it and turn it into an office or a home gym or a nursery or a storage room. I hate to think that the space that I have spent so long making my own will be gone one day.
That same scary feeling also applies to graduating. Looking back at my old high school and seeing how much has changed is insane to me because it makes me feel like the place I spent four years growing isn’t even the same place anymore. And very soon, the same will happen with college. On May 5th, I will be crossing a stage in front of the Humanities building and having a rolled up piece of paper, that is supposed to symbolize my MBA, placed in my hand. Then I am going to go home and I will no longer be a student at my school anymore. Then there will be hundreds upon thousands of students walking through the doors as a freshman and leaving in the same manner as me and I won’t be there to see any of it and it all keeps moving without me.
Now I know I will be moving onto bigger and better things and that my memories will always be with me, but it still freaks me out. I know I have to move on and I know that it is what’s best, but sometimes I wish certain things would always be around.
I guess I will just have to find the beauty in change.